


Support Space

by Yallsehood



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coming Out, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Aphobia, Janus Arboc, Janus comes out, Not accepting parents, Panic, Platonic Relationship, Platonic Relationships, Profanity, Remus Knightly, Remus and Janus are best friends, Roman Knightly, aroace, aroace janus, aromantic janus, demus - Freeform, dukeceit, janus angst, platonic demus, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yallsehood/pseuds/Yallsehood
Summary: After a long time of deliberation, Janus Arboc decides to come out to his parents as a romance repulsed aromantic after being out to them as asexual for quite a few years. This coming out seems to go disastrously, so Janus seeks comfort in his best friend who has just returned from out of town: Remus Knightly.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Support Space

It was something he’d been holding onto for quite some time. There’s always an awkward amount of time between trying out a label and being ready to tell people, right? Well, this college student took his time when coming to terms with himself, and it certainly wasn’t easy. Staring at himself in the mirror, the college freshmen wasn’t quite sure how he’d gotten this far. How was he still standing here? How was he even really looking at himself? There were days where the short, classy college student wouldn’t even recognize himself in the mirror; that could be due to the other things in that rotten, mentally ill mind of his. Those would be challenges to face another day. 

Some could certainly say the young male made it this fair due to his connections. He may have lost a few people in his life, but it was for a good cause. Not everyone got along, right? That aside, Janus still had quite a few people in his life that he had strong bonds with. They’d been there for him through thick and thin. He just hoped that today his true friends would remain by his side after doing what it is he wanted to do. 

See, for a long time Janus had been out to his parents as asexual. Things were going well with that so far. It’d been a few years, and they had some questions here and there; however, it was nothing Janus couldn’t handle really. He just hoped today would go over just as smoothly as it did back then. After all, what was so wrong with being aromantic?

The short answer was nothing; the long answer was also nothing, but Janus had some quarrels with that statement. If he knew someone else who was aromantic, he’d accept them in a heartbeat. Love is love even if it wasn’t romantic! Of course, there are people on the spectrum of aromanticism who do date too, and Janus would love and accept those people as well. For Janus Arboc, he knew romance was not for him, and it took him a very long time to accept himself for that. Being romance repulsed wasn’t something his mind had completely normalized, but he was doing his best to accept himself. Janus had to, right? To be honest, he wasn’t so sure he was fully there. Even so? He had people supporting him every step of the way. He could still remember how he came out to everyone else… Hopefully today would have similar results.

There are people who are easier to come out to than others. Janus knew his parents finding out would be the final milestone he had to reach when coming out, but he was trying to remember what worked best for him. The easiest person to tell was probably his best friend: Remus Knightly. He’d known Remus since they were in kindergarten. If he’d known back then, he might’ve actually told the eccentric punk that was his best friend, but Janus only found this out about himself towards the end of high school. As scared as he was for himself on the inside, he wasn’t so nervous to tell Remus about it. He thought Remus could help…. but not every demon could be slain by another. Janus had his own monsters within him he must face; he only feared he was not well equipped for any kind of battle.

That day it had rained. Janus rather liked storms, but he did not see the one coming to meet his own heart. This heart was something he believed to be damaged and worthy of throwing away. Janus had wrestled with these thoughts a long time. Little did he know, not all thoughts fade away. There were struggles Janus would have to face time and time again. 

At the Knightly house, there was celebration. Remus and Roman had come home from their first semester away from home. The two went to colleges on different coasts; Roman had gone to the east while Remus settled on some college campus on the west coast. The twins had missed one another, and the family was celebrating with a nice dinner with the twins. Their mother had to usher Roman to put away his phone. “Trying long distance?” Remus teased. “You can kiss your phone later.”

“I will do no such horrid thing!” Roman exclaimed, offended from such a remark from his younger twin brother.

“Bullshit-”

“Language.”

“English, Ma. Also I’m eighteen, so freedom of goddamn speech!” Remus said mockingly to his mother. He would never intentionally upset her. He went back to Roman. “I heard you fall asleep kissing your phone while someone was on the other line. What the fuck is that, Roman? Secret boyfriend.”

Roman crosses his arms with a huff. He rolled his eyes and took a sip of the beverage he chose to drink with dinner last night. “He prefers to keep it that way so I shall. It’s better than you leaving your boyfriend behind here.”

The younger brother just rolled his eyes. Remus knew long distance was hard, but he and his boyfriend were doing well. He seemed to let it go though. Something about the air that night let Remus know things were different. Remus didn’t need to get in some big fight with his brother right now. Despite the bickering, Roman and Remus did have a lovely evening with their family. Dinner was warm, and the house welcomed laughter. Both twins were quite comedic, and the hallowed halls of the Knightly household felt as if they were full of light once again.

Halfway through the dinner, there was a knock at the door, and without fail Remus ran to answer. He didn’t even ask to be excused from the table since he figured it didn’t matter anyways. Remus seemed excited to see who the stranger might be, but he was met face to face with his best friend, Janus Arboc. 

The image in front of Remus was quite intriguing. Janus looked distraught, and it was clear he had previously been crying, but attempting to keep himself together. The color contact Janus normally wore to hide his heterochromia was not in his left eye, and he even appeared to not be wearing the foundation that hid the scar on his face. Janus had come to Remus without hiding his imperfections, and he was wondering why Janus’ parents had let him out of the house… unless they didn’t know Janus had left in the first place. “Jan?” He asked quietly as he studied his best friend’s state further. 

Janus met Remus’ eyes, but just barely. “Can I come in?” He whispered. The normally confident teen was shaking as he stood there. “I know it’s your first night home I just-”

Remus pulled Janus into a hug, and inside of the house as well. He didn’t want his best friend catching a chill from the rain. Out of all the things he missed while being away, he certainly missed his best friend. Things weren’t the same without his partner in crime! Perhaps the next time they hang out, it will be more joyous. For now, Remus needed to focus on bringing his best friend some comfort. “It’s okay.” He said softly into his shorter friend’s ear. “You don’t have to explain right now. Let’s just get you inside and warm.” 

“Remus, who is it?” The twins’ father has called out. Remus usually announced what was going on.

Remus took Janus by the hand and walked into the dining room with his best friend that was soaked from the rain. “Janus came to visit.” Remus said and watched as his mom immediately ran to get Janus a towel. He looked to see how Janus seemed a bit uncomfortable with this situation. “Is it okay if I finish eating later?”

Janus thanked Remus’ mother had he felt a towel wrapped around his shoulder. He looked over at Remus. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your meal.” He said to him. It was clear Janus didn’t intend on speaking to anyone else. This man usually adored socializing. Hell, during high school he was known for throwing huge parties. This quietness was out of the ordinary. Everything about this was clearly worrying Remus.

“Have you eaten Janus?”

“Oh, a little.” Janus responded to Roman. He knew Remus and Roman’s family would invite him to eat if he hadn’t, but Janus wasn’t so sure he could stomach any food right now. He knew the twins’ mom was about to say something, but Janus spoke up, “Really, I’m alright. Could I just speak with Remus for a moment? You’ll have to forgive me for being so rude.” 

It was easy for Janus to be forgiven, and Remus ended up taking Janus up to his room for the sake of having some privacy. Remus shut the door and offered Janus some warm blankets and a change of clothes. Remus and Janus weren’t too different in sizes, so Janus just accepted some clothes. It wasn’t in his style, but he accepted a warm hoodie and some sweatpants from Remus. Janus was extremely comfortable now. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, J.” 

“I must say it’s lovely to see you.”

“I feel the fucking same way about you.” Remus said as he sat down in the hanging chair in his room. He slumped back in it as he looked at his best friend who was sitting in the bean bag chair right next to him. “Do you want to tell me you showed up to my house with tears stains on your face? Do I have to fuck someone up?”

Janus sighed and shook his head as he leaned back in the bean bag chair. His hat had fallen off his head to reveal his ginger locks. “Not unless you want to beat me up.”

“What the hell did you do?” Remus said, sitting up a bit. He was leaning towards Janus with his eyebrow with the slit shaved in it cocked. “I’ve seen other people cry because of you but I’ve never seen you cry because of-”

“My parents did it.”

“Oh shit.” Remus said. The room suddenly had a lot more tension. It was adding up in Remus’ head that Janus’ parents likely didn’t know he had left the house. “Well, I’ve seen that before.” Remus sighed and ended up moving over to sit next to Janus. He knew how heartbreaking and terrible Janus’ parents could be sometimes. They were very cold people. He opened his arms for another hug, and Janus hugged his best friend. Remus began to gently rub his back. “What happened, J?” He asked quietly.

Janus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His mind painted the scene against his shut eyelids perfectly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to relive it, so he ended up opening his eyes as he explained the situation to the one person he trusted more than anyone else. “I decided I wanted to come up to my parents.” He sighed as he looked up at Remus. “I thought I was ready to tell them and I was over all those doubts in my head that I wasn’t broken. But then they… they said…” 

It hurt Remus’ heart to hear Janus’ voice so strained from holding back his tears. Normally, Remus was the one getting into troublesome situations. This predicament wasn’t something Remus was expecting at all. Usually, Janus talked to him about wanting to come out. Remus knew how badly Janus wanted his parents to understand who he was too; things just didn’t happen as perfectly as Janus wanted them to, did it? Janus had gone through so much internalized aphobia, and dealt with terrible thoughts about who he truly was. Remus was scared Janus would continue to believe he was broken and unworthy of any kind of love. 

“Tell me they didn’t tell you that.” Remus said, unable to contain his anger. He knew how hard Janus worked to get past his own doubts in his brain.   
A few tears streaked down Janus’ face as he just nodded. “They asked me if I was. Ree, they couldn’t… they said so many terrible things.”   
“Why I oughta-”   
“Remus.” Janus said firmly as he sat up to wipe away a few more of his tears. He didn’t want to deal with Remus threatening to kick his parents’ asses right now. Janus had seen his parents angry and disrespectful before, but it was nothing like this. He took a deep breath as he looked at his best friend. “They aren’t right, are they?”   
“Fuck no.” Remus answered without any kind of hesitation. He knew that Janus’ parents were wrong if they called Janus broken. “So what if you are a bit romance repulsed, Janus. That is just the kind of aromantic you are. You despised the romance of couples, you can’t even watch the movies, and you don’t want all of that. Who cares? You’re still Janus Demetrius Arboc. No one can mess with you.”   
A heavy sigh fell from Janus’ lips as he felt his heart ache. His lip still slightly quivered as more tears fell down his face. Even through all the trouble he had with some self acceptance, this seemed to pain Janus more than anything else did. Having the fears in his head be said by another person was extremely harmful. It might take Janus’ parents time to understand. He knew that his parents did have good intentions; things were just going to be extremely stressful for a while. 

When there was no response, Remus decided it was best he pulled some more supporting words out of his mouth, huh? “Janus, I know this is not something a few kind words can mend. I know this isn’t something I can fix by fucking up some shit for you either. Believe me, if I could? I would.” Remus explained. “I just want you to know that this is a safe place to be, J. This is always going to be somewhere you can come when you need someone. I love you so much, Janus, and I don’t want you to change yourself.”

“You don’t”

“God! Fuck no!” Remus nudged Janus’ ribs with his elbow gently. “You’ve been my best friend since forever. You’ve watched me do the weirdest shit. You were there for me through thick and thin and I’d do the same for you!”   
“You have.”

Remus shrugged. He knew all of that, and he would be there for Janus time and time again. He just took a deep breath. “Did they kick you out?” He asked, finally addressing the fact Janus had walked here in the rain; besides, he wasn’t in his normal attire when he had arrived.    
Janus shook his head as he took a deep breath. It seemed Janus was finally gaining his recomposure. The pain in his heart wasn’t going anytime soon, but being around Remus was helping him calm down. “No,” Janus verbally responded, “I walked out on my own. They need time to process, ya know?”   
“Like my dad did?”

“I hope so.” Janus exhaled as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and his thumb. He could recall what had happened when Remus came out to his parents. His dad had a hard time understanding that Remus was homosexual, but he had come around in time. Janus looked at Remus. “How long did it take your dad?”

“A little under a year.” Remus sighed as he ran his hands through his curly brunette locks. “By that time Roman had come out. My dad had two gay kids, so he realized he  _ had  _ to understand us even if he really wanted to be a good father to us. It took time… but he came around. It was just ignorance, I guess. He finally saw his kids happy and proud of themselves or something.” Remus looked over at Janus. He knew that Janus was hoping his parents were just having a terrible first reaction. “You know my parents would accept you in a heartbeat.”

Janus cocked a brow at hearing that statement. He knew that Remus’ parents did consider him to be part of the family, but it wouldn’t be the same really. Not that he was complaining. Unless… “Even if I still can’t accept myself?”   
Remus sighed softly and nodded. He offered to hold Janus’ hand while they talked. “Of course, Janus.” He said, and a kind smile had actually spread across Remus’ face. He was going to do his best to reassure Janus as much as he could. “The road to self-acceptance is hard. Just know you’re not alone, okay?”

“Okay…” Janus sighed softly. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to discuss this topic any further. He knew today, specifically that evening, had been extremely exhausting for him. “Could we talk more later maybe?” He asked. Janus knew he interrupted dinner, and he himself was quite hungry as well. There were other things Janus needed to fill his mind with. He wasn’t going to ignore these feelings, but Janus just needed a small break from troublesome thoughts. It wouldn’t completely silent his negative mind, but even something small would be nice.

Immediately, Remus had nodded in response to Janus. “Of course. We can go back down to dinner, and you can even stay the night! We can make you a little home away from home. You can have a safe spot. Cause everyone here loves and supports you! Hell, I’m sure my folks have missed you. Honestly, who wouldn’t? We can make some ice cream sundaes if you want. I think we have those candies you like to put on ice cream if you want! Then we could watch some horror movies together or maybe my family will play some games. Maybe not Roman. I’m sure he’ll be on his damn phone again.” Remus rolled his eyes as he continued to ramble.

There was something nice about hearing Remus all excited like this. Being away from his best friend had been somewhat difficult. “I missed you.” Janus said with a small smile on his face.

“I know.” Remus dramatically posed with his hands on his hips before opening the door to his bedroom. “Come on, Janus. You deserve a relaxing night.” He hummed happily. He knew there wasn’t much he could do to help Janus completely, but he was there to support his friend; he wanted him to relax. 

Janus joined Remus for a night of some light hearted and distracting activities. Perhaps he can just relax and spend some good time with his best friend he had missed so dearly. Who needed his parents right now? Sometimes a nice escape from troubles was needed in his moment of panic. Things might get rockier again down the road, and Janus still wouldn’t be ready for those burdensome thoughts. For now, he chose to try to focus on the good. He had people who do love and support him. This platonic love was all Janus could need for the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is just a little aroace Janus fic. Janus is romance repulsed in this fic, but aromanticism is a spectrum! There are people who may identify differently, of course. 
> 
> Anyhow, thank you for reading. Feel free to comment below!


End file.
